Creative Project

More Beautiful You- Jonny Diaz

Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
dont buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

There could never be a more beautiful you
dont buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl

There could never be a more beautiful you
dont buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
There could never be, a more beautiful you.

           The song lyrics and photograph about describe my coming of age experience perfectly. As with any high school student, graduation is perhaps one of the biggest days of there lives for it marks the beginning of their independence and a whole new life. For me, my graduation was even a bigger moment than just the fact of graduating. My parents got divorced when I was in sixth grade and from that point on I never saw much of my dad. He is in the military and after their divorce he was constantly traveling. He remarried a year later to a women who is also in the military. My dad moved out to Washington D.C. about three years ago and will be moving to Hawaii in June. Most of my birthdays as well as my sister’s were spent with just my mom because my dad could not make it back. Not having my own dad there throughout some of the most important years in my life was really difficult. The adolescent stage for most is the time where one develops their own identity and figure out who they are. As we learned in the Rebecca Raby study Across a Great Gulf? she states “The category of adolescence in itself can be considered a legacy of developmental approaches…it is perceived as a distinct category, on that is part of but not separate from childhood” (40). As these years were the biggest part of my developmental stage, not having my dad there is a huge influence on my coming of age throughout those adolescent years. Because he had missed so many important events throughout my adolescent years I was surprised when I found out he would make it to my graduation. My graduation was one of the first and only days since my parents divorce that I finally felt like my family was back together, even for just a moment. My step-mom could not make it so only my dad showed up, which was actually a good thing! Having my whole family there meant so much to me and will be a day that I will always cherish and this is why this picture means so much to me.
         The song lyrics “More Beautiful You” are from a song that my dad used to always play for me. Even though he wasn’t around much he tried to show me that he still cared by doing little things like this. He always told me that I don’t have to conform to what society thinks young girls should look like or act like; instead to be myself and be happy. The reminds me of Kearney’s research in Producing Girls: Rethinking the Study of Female Youth Culture where she states “The number of girls completing high schools and college education is greater then ever before, and there are more opportunities for girls who want to move out of traditional female roles…“ (289). Now, more then ever, girls are able to do the things that want to do and these song lyrics always remind me of that. In our senior yearbook there was a spot next to our senior pictures where parents could choose to write something to be added into everyone’s year book next to there child’s picture. My dad wrote “There could never be a more beautiful you” and that meant the world to me because it was from the special song he always played for me. The song and photograph above really describe the relationship with my family and my coming of age experience.

Blog #2

      Throughout this course we have learned a lot about what it’s like for adolescence living in the United States. After reading the study of South African teenage pregnancies I learned that the life of an adolescent, especially a teenage parent, is very different then that of a teenager in the U.S. The pregnancy rate is so high in South Africa that 4 out of 10 girls are pregnant before the age of twenty, this is over 30%. The research from this study also found that of the total uneducated population, women account for 61%. This shows that even though the adolescent male has a child too, he is not denied the same education that the mother strives for. It is almost as if the female is looked down upon but the male is not penalized or set back from his education. I think this is also similar to what occurs in the United States; males are typically able to continue with their education as normal and if one parent is set back, it is almost always the mother. It is almost as if the mother is being punished for not maintaining her virginity, while the father holds no responsibility. In South Africa, maintaining one’s virginity is important and held to the woman to keep. Valenti quotes Laura Carpenter in her article The Cult of Virginity ‘“ I think the emphasis on virginity, particularly for women, causes a lot more harm then good”’ (Valenti 21). This is also perhaps why teenage mothers find it extremely difficult to be accepted by their peers when they attempt to go back to school, which is later discussed. Ultimately, virginity is important in society and because of this young mothers are not welcomed back into society. Also, pregnancy rates were much higher at predominantly black schools in South Africa. This is also true in the United States according to U.S. Teenage Pregnancy and Abortion Rates.
     One major problem that is being faced in South Africa due to teenage pregnancy is the inability for girls to finish their education after having their babies. When these girls go back to school they are often seen as poor or incapable students simply because they had a child. “We so rarely think of sexuality in positive or healthy terms that doing so requires a shift in mindset” (Tolman 3). It almost seems as if society gives up on them entirely because society is seen in a negative light. By looking at teenage mothers in this light will only add to the already high poverty rate because they are offered no support. In fact, some public schools aren’t even allowing students back into their schools if they have had a baby for fear of influencing other girls to become pregnant as well. I think in order to shift this mindset as Tolman states sex education needs to be offered in schools to offer more understand in the minds of students and teachers. Mothers are sometimes afraid of going back to school because students, as well as teachers, view them negatively and give little support.
     Perhaps one of the reasons why the situation is dealt with so differently in South Africa is because sexuality is much more of a private thing there. I think that we live in a society where sexuality isn’t very reserved. South Africa does not offer the same support for women compared to the United States. For example, counseling is only marginally available, if at all. I think counseling is so important in learning to cope with issues. When people, especially girls, do not have anyone to talk about their feelings and what they’re going through there is no way for them to cope. I realize that there are people here in the United States that go through a feeling of isolation after having their child, but we are given resources here that are not even offered in South Africa. Also, no school accommodations are made for mothers. One teacher in this study stated “They chose to have a kid so why should special arrangements be made?”. This shows nothing but extreme ignorance on the side of the education system. What is the point in setting these mothers even farther back in society and putting them into poverty? School is hard enough for a typical student, nonetheless a teenager who’s first job is to be a good mother. I think this is extremely sad that schools will not make any accommodations for mothers.
     I think that in order for things to change in South Africa teachers need to be trained in how to best help teenage girls who feel scared and alone. Perhaps the biggest help would be an availability to resources such as counselors and daycare facilities.
　
　
　
Works Cited
Tolman. "Getting Beyond "It Just Happened"" Web.
U.S. Teenage Pregnancies, Birth Rates, and Abortion: National and Sate Trends by Race and Ethnicity. January 2010. Guttmacher Institute.
Valenti, Jessica. "The Cult of Virginity." Web.http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/USTPtrends.pdf

Blog #1

       The MTV television show “Teen Mom” has become a huge hit nationwide, especially among young girls. The show was originally created to show young girls what it was like to be a teenage mother dealing with all the struggles that it entails. Unfortunately, the second season of teen mom sent controversial messages when Amber Portword, 19, punched her boyfriend Gary Shirley in the face threatening to push him down the stairs. What kind of message does this send to the millions of teens watching this?
       I was completely outraged at MTV’s irresponsibility to take action in this situation. MTV was absolutely insensitive to the emotional and mental distress that Gary went through. The episode ended without even a public service announcement (PSA)of violence or abuse. Gender roles in this episode are completely stereotypical. Had the roles been reversed, and Gary hit Amber, the entire aftermath would have been different. I feel that MTV should have used this type of domestic abuse to show men who are abused that they are not alone. They should not be ashamed or embarrassed to take action against their abuser. Abuse is abuse, regardless of who it comes from and I believe MTV did a poor job of showing that.
      The purpose of Teen Mom was to set an example but is failing to do so in my opinion. People find it more entertaining to watch, rather than watching for example. It’s almost as if MTV aired the domestic violence to gain viewer, making “good television”. I think the domestic abuse is one of the most real things about the show. Most typical teenagers with children are not able to move out on their own and drive brand new cars like the teen moms in the show due to their large paychecks from each episode. The domestic abuse IS something real and does occur. MTV should have made this an example of shown America that this is not acceptable and the proper ways to deal with it. I think self-esteem is also an issue surrounding the relationship between Amber and Gary. The book The Perks of Being a Wallflower says it perfectly; “We accept the love we think we deserve” (24). I think that even a PSA about self-esteem and domestic violence held after the episode would at least be a start in setting the right example for teens.
      I am happy to hear that Amber is being charged with domestic violence. According to OK magazine online Amber is being charged with “felony domestic battery and child neglect”. Thank God that the law is taking action and hopefully getting their poor baby out of her custody for good. Ultimately, I think that MTV could have done a much better job in showing that domestic abuse of any kind is not okay and proper action should be taken immediately. After all, this is a highly influential show for young people and because of this, Teen Mom needs to be careful what type of image they portray.